Tag Archives: social

Adventures in a private hospital somewhere in Gauteng …

Originally published: Oct 11 2011

How’s this for decadent. I am sitting in Sunninghill hospital, a private hospital in Johannesburg. I have been here a couple of times before, the normal stuff: birth of my children, stitches in my children, gunshot wound, normal run-of-the-mill living in Joburg stuff. The difference tonight is that I am here, unprotected, vulnerable, naked … I don’t have the comfort blanket of medical aid on this visit. Well that’s a bit of a lie, I do have medical aid but I am here with with my domestic who, as the bulk of domestics in this country, does not have medical aid. The choices I had are not really a choice – roll the dice with a State Hospital, or bite the bullet and assume the brace position, because this is going to a painful exercise (not as much as the pain that our domestic is in), but financially painful.
I feel likes mobile ATM, I have done nothing in the last 3 hours, but wait around and be asked by all “… How will you be paying…?) and when I say cash, I don’t know if the look of derision I get is one of “you poor bastard” or “serves you right for employing a Malawian”.
4 hours and 2 grand later and I am still waiting for the results of the x-rays, bloods and the fraud department of StandardBank to call me to enquire about the unusual purchases on the credit card. I am in terror of what it is going to cost me in parking fees when I try to leave this cash consuming beast. Bring on a National Healthcare System I say.
The first R1 000 went on two separate payments, why I have no idea, actually I do, I asked: R400 went on the privilege to see a doctor, no prob, just a bit more than my GP. R600 was for a bed fee … Yes the doctor has to see you somewhere, apparently the parking lot is not an acceptable venue, so for the privilege of sitting in a 4×4 cubicle, on a bed – 600 ZAR. Cash thank you very much. Bloods tests for Malaria, close on R700 and R400 for 2 chest x-rays.
So just over 2 grand to get a numb ass from the crappy chair I was consigned to(I was tempted to sleep on the bed but our domestic really needed it more than me).
The diagnosis doesn’t look good, for my domestic or my bank balance. Malaria will mean admission. I gingerly enquired about the cost of this. I waited a few minutes while the staff tried to find the price list, of this the most expensive drive-thru around. They found it. I tried to break the ice with some poor cliche and again took the brace position, tightly clenching my ass-cheeks.
“Did you get that Sir”?
It was like a movie in slow motion. My mind had blocked out the beginning part of what she said. My numbed ass had suddenly shifted to my head for a brief moment. I am told that the body has an automatic reflex action, that if it knows it is going to be hurt, it anaethitises itself against the pending pain.
“excuse me” I said, my knuckles gripping the counter for support.
“And that is cash upfront sir”
Can we go back a few frames … What was the amount?
“R20 000”
Thank god there was a wheelchair I could fall into as my knees buckled, but no, the thought of it being a pay-as-you-go wheelchair made my grip on the counter even firmer, my resolve steadfast.
“is he going to be admitted for the month?”
“2 nights sir at R1 800 per night excluding medication”
“I do get change don’t I”
“that would depend on the medication”
Gulp, was a gulp free I asked myself? It must be. If I do it slowly no one will see.

To be continued…

Whay Facebook will increase the suicide rate amongst it’s users

Originally published: Sep 24 2011

WARNING: there is a lot of swearing in this article…

Why Facebook will increase the suicide rate.

There is a Facebook post going around (or maybe it’s old, who cares the jist of it remains the same). It was about how wonderful it is to have Facebook friends and if you are also happy to have Facebook friends then post the article on your wall. My sweet fuck! How desperate can you be to think that the 500 friends you have on Facebook actually give a shit about your life and your universe? You decided to tell your FF about how shitty your day is (worse … You give a hour-to-hour account of how shitty it is) to your closet 500 friends … Who in turn feel compelled to support you in some form of solidarity with a ridiculous “I like” or to comment with their own inconsequential mundane response to your compulsion to share all. Am I missing a trick here? Am I really over the connected hill? Social networking is tantamount to the following:
I call a friend using that dated cellular technology aka a cellphone. He/she answers. This is how the conversation goes:
Ring ring … Ring ring…
“where have all the hours in this crap day gone?”
“thumbs up now fuck off”
Click. End of conversation.
At least in the above scenario 499 of my other friends haven’t had to endure a reason to commit suicide.

Another reason to commit suicide

Yay yay it’s the weekend
I know it’s the damn weekend. Thank you, thumbs up and fuck off as well.

At least thumbs up is easy today. The one’s who feel serially compelled to comment on a posting, such as the yay yay it’s the weekend brigade, with inane statements, like “enjoy”, “have a good one”, etc. Deserve to have their fingers cut off. Wtf, get a life dudes. Throw the tech away and experience the weekend, and yes you guessed it – I don’t want to know if you had a crap or a good weekend. Just do it for yourself.

Comments popularity contest.
Here’s another reason FB is going to increase the suicide rate. I wonder how often people, who think they’re witty, and in fact are not, or have nothing worthwhile to say in real-life social environments let alone to their closest 500 Facebook buddies, feel when they post some mundane crap that wouldn’t interest their own parents, get no comments or thumbs up on the post. Loser. Big time. Dude, not even you Facebook buddies actually give a crap.

Checking in …
Why in this entire world would anyone be interested in knowing when a person has checked in to all places … Like an airport! Why would anyone want to tell anyone else that they have arrived at an airport, let alone all their fiends. are they really friends you must ask yourself if the best that you, as a socially inept individual feel compelled to tell not one, but all of them that you have checked into a goddamn airport.

Check-in showoffs…
You’ve all got a couple of these friends. The one’s who have to remind you how wonderful their lives are with a blatant display of, in this instance , fuck you I can check into some exotic destination, in-place, hotel, club etc. Etc. They made it onto their own self created A-list and now want to tell the world that they have arrived! Why??? Is it because they think people are really interested? Is it because they believe that by association, it will give them that level of “hip” that they only get by dropping their Beemer key rings onto bar counters?
As if anyone give a rat’s ass. Yet another thumbs up go fuck yourself now. Look at it this way though, it is only a matter of time before we have our first real world Facebook serial killer, good thing for this phsyco to make it easier to hunt you down – in fact the sooner the better. Please continue to “check-in”.

P.S. Please like my article by clicking here… Thumbs up and fuck-off.